i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
