How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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