my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Randomize
