Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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