Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize