If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
