I'm eating all of the evidence.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize