I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
