OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize