Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
