True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
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You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
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You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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