I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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