I cockslap morals
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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