she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
