Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I have post one night stand depression
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