She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
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