we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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