After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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