Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
