i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
