I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
