Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
high people should be assigned attendants
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Randomize
