So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
