The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
