His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
