Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Randomize
