I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
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