Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
