hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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