drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
