My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
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