So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
