Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
