he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
What drink are we having for lunch?
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
The ass gains better be worth it
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