you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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