You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
