it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
