how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
