I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Randomize