She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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