I'm going to rape someone's good day.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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