I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
