So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
