My pussy is not your playground.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I have post one night stand depression
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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