Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize