you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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