He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
My dick has a subreddit
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
Randomize
