Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Randomize