That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Randomize
