You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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