You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
We have so much sex to catch up on
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
