I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Randomize
