I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
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