so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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