Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize