Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
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