walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
He? As in you personified your dick?
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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