I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
