Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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