i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
