Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
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So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
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I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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