Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
