I look better un-naked...
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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