Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Randomize