champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
