i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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